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fun_like_thatFirst thing- I need a beta. I finally got my ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
spn_holidays fic done and typed up. I'd like to have it up in time for the deadline tomorrow. Anyone like me with no life and isn't going out for NYE? *winning grin* Care to help out? I work in google docs and prefer to have my betas indicate changes so I can see what and why something needs changed to learn from it. It's about 4300-ish words, Sam/Dean. Leave your email if you're interested.
And if anyone is getting comments from me to FREAKISHLY OLD things (ie- fics from 6 months ago), I'm sorry for the spam. I'm just trying to catch up. :(
I decided to post all this public because it's a declaration, of sorts. These are things I want to accomplish in the next year, so why hide them?
- be strong. This is becoming a rather major theme in my life in the past few years and I like it.
- be happy.
- Pursue a job. Go after big things and not be a weenie about it. Possibilities to consider: Toronto, Vancouver (although I'm not sure going FURTHER from home/my mom is going to make me happy), down state. I'd LOVE to work/live in NYC or Boston for awhile. Stop being lazy and look into it!
- exercise! The roomie wants to go to the gym, so GET ON IT!
- be a better person. 2006 was a HARD year for me. I was so confused and conflicted, I didn't know what I was going to do with my life. I've always wanted to do something I LIKE and that makes me happy and I've been chasing that dream for years. I moved 2600kms away from home, away from my mom, and was confronted with a very harsh and, imo, nasty reality- sometimes we have to do something we don't want to do, nor that we like to do. I DON'T WANT THAT. I think it's possible for me to find something I'm meant to do and will have fun doing but other people didn't necessarily see things the same way. 2006 was an emotional, heartbreaking year for me.
2007 was better. I found... not my PLACE but somewhere a little more comfortable. I made some friends, I've become a calmer person. I'm more think than react, I think, and I've learned a lot about myself. I've accepted things. I think I DO need to be somewhere bigger but that I don't like being away from my mom, not this far away, and maybe my desire to be on the west coast isn't the best idea for me. Toronto/Boston/NYC would likely fit me better.
I've also started to accept who I am a little more. I want to be a happier person, more up beat, but that might not happen. I don't think I'm negative so much as just... blunt. And I've realized I sometimes come off that way, even bitchy and angry (oh, I DO NOT want to be the "angry" girl) and people might not like that, or are taken off guard by it. I'm lucky to have such an awesome roommate who appreciates it and doesn't mind it. We balance out well because she's SO positive and happy on the time, even when she doesn't want to be.
Basically, I'm going to stop wanting to be someone else. Someone who can make friends at the drop of a hat and who has a smile on all the time, trying to get along with people. I'm not that person. But by accepting who I am I can be more comfortable with what I present to other people and make real, genuine friends that way because they don't care if I'm a little off. I just want to be a better me and then I'm a better person.
- finish one 2000 wd fic/month throughvitamin_fic
- finish plaguing fic ideas- Jared's married (needs massively re-tooled to work. possibly for bigbang?), Jared & Jensen meet in a bar (the whole fic is outlined but it's just soooooo slow going), superstar Jared (I don't know if this one will work out, we'll see), Sam/Ruby fic #2, Ruby's identity fic (got it started, a little foggy on where it's going)
- work on character voices. It's something I really strived for at the end of this year but I want to figure out how these characters sound before I start writing so their lines don't come out so stupid. I find Jared and Jensen the hardest sometimes because they CAN be anyone in RPS. We don't know them. Sam and Dean are second because I just have a hard time thinking like a guy. So, something to work on.
- Rec at least one fic a week. This means I'll have to READ some. I suck at that. :(
- COMMENTS! I want to force myself to reply to comments quickly. Sometimes I'll get comments and I'm here but I won't reply because... I don't want peoplet to think I'm one of those people that's RIGHT THERE to comment ASAP? I dunno. Reply faster, that's all. I still have fics from freaking June or July to reply to.
- post icons more frequently.
Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted?:
A LOT more. It's insane how much I wrote at the beginning of the year. I'm jazzed to get out of school and work if only to write as much as I did in the first six months of this year. About 31 fics this year, 2 unposted yet. Actually, there are more. I have three more waiting to be posted, or thereabouts. I don't know why I haven't. And OOOOOOOOOODLES of stuff not finished. It's seriously scary.
What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January?
Jesus... I did some daddy!cest, het, femmeslash-ish and a genderswap. AND a Sam/Dean/Sam thing. I NEVER would have done this before. And I'm proud of it all!
What's your favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest?
UM UM UM. "but a dollar says he'll lick that Devil", "They Won't Grow", hmmm... I think those two are the ones that I'm proudest of and therefore happiest at how they came together.
Did you take any writing risks this year? (See above for unexpected pairings, etc.) What did you learn from them?
YES. I didspn_j2_bigbang. I had so much stress over this fic and it was MASSIVE, the biggest thing I've ever done. I learned betas are AMAZING people and just SO MUCH about what to watch for in my own writing.
Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the New Year?
Yes! To write at least one fic a month, to finish at least SOME of the ideas I've had for ages now and to branch out into pairings and maybe fandoms I wouldn't normally.
From my past year of writing, what was…
My Best Story:
Personally? I think it was something like "They Won't Grow" or "No one wants to fight me like you do". Maybe "but a dollar says he'll lick that Devil", I'm not sure. It's a lot of porn more than anything.
Story Most Underappreciated by the Universe:
Maybe... "Someday Never Comes" or "Laugh, I nearly died"? Death!fics are usually underappreciated. Or near-death!fics.
Most fun:
"Tasting the Pillow with my Grin", "He Wasn't Blowing Raspberries" or "as a child of twenty-five", I think. And maybe "They Won't Grow", which is weird.
Most disappointing:
I think... "The New Happy Hour". I had this idea for all these little AU vignettes but nothing came of them. Maybe someday.
Story With a Single Sexy Moment:
A single sexy moment? Because "but a dollar says he'll lick that Devil" does it for me. I STILL remember how I felt when I was writing it and how easy it all just poured out and came together. Maybe Sandy watching Jared and Jensen in "I can make you sway"?
Hardest to Write:
"Bright Stars and Faint Satellite Skies" or "Daddy Drinks Because You Cry", easily. BSaFSS just because it was SO HUGE and took SO MUCH time. DDBYC because it took me soooooo long to write it. I'm happy with the outcome, but it took way too long to get there.
Most Unintentionally Telling:
I'm not sure. I don't think any of them are. Near the end of the year I REALLY tried to write with character voices in mind so... I'm not sure I can answer this well.
I think this is pretty much all I have to say about 2007. It came, it went. So long, see you later. Bring on 2008!
Oh, and if anyone else is bumming around home tonight (even if there WAS anything to do here in town, it snowed quite a bit today the roads are shit) IM me on AIM! FcukerMari
spn_holidays fic done and typed up. I'd like to have it up in time for the deadline tomorrow. Anyone like me with no life and isn't going out for NYE? *winning grin* Care to help out? I work in google docs and prefer to have my betas indicate changes so I can see what and why something needs changed to learn from it. It's about 4300-ish words, Sam/Dean. Leave your email if you're interested.And if anyone is getting comments from me to FREAKISHLY OLD things (ie- fics from 6 months ago), I'm sorry for the spam. I'm just trying to catch up. :(
I decided to post all this public because it's a declaration, of sorts. These are things I want to accomplish in the next year, so why hide them?
- be strong. This is becoming a rather major theme in my life in the past few years and I like it.
- be happy.
- Pursue a job. Go after big things and not be a weenie about it. Possibilities to consider: Toronto, Vancouver (although I'm not sure going FURTHER from home/my mom is going to make me happy), down state. I'd LOVE to work/live in NYC or Boston for awhile. Stop being lazy and look into it!
- exercise! The roomie wants to go to the gym, so GET ON IT!
- be a better person. 2006 was a HARD year for me. I was so confused and conflicted, I didn't know what I was going to do with my life. I've always wanted to do something I LIKE and that makes me happy and I've been chasing that dream for years. I moved 2600kms away from home, away from my mom, and was confronted with a very harsh and, imo, nasty reality- sometimes we have to do something we don't want to do, nor that we like to do. I DON'T WANT THAT. I think it's possible for me to find something I'm meant to do and will have fun doing but other people didn't necessarily see things the same way. 2006 was an emotional, heartbreaking year for me.
2007 was better. I found... not my PLACE but somewhere a little more comfortable. I made some friends, I've become a calmer person. I'm more think than react, I think, and I've learned a lot about myself. I've accepted things. I think I DO need to be somewhere bigger but that I don't like being away from my mom, not this far away, and maybe my desire to be on the west coast isn't the best idea for me. Toronto/Boston/NYC would likely fit me better.
I've also started to accept who I am a little more. I want to be a happier person, more up beat, but that might not happen. I don't think I'm negative so much as just... blunt. And I've realized I sometimes come off that way, even bitchy and angry (oh, I DO NOT want to be the "angry" girl) and people might not like that, or are taken off guard by it. I'm lucky to have such an awesome roommate who appreciates it and doesn't mind it. We balance out well because she's SO positive and happy on the time, even when she doesn't want to be.
Basically, I'm going to stop wanting to be someone else. Someone who can make friends at the drop of a hat and who has a smile on all the time, trying to get along with people. I'm not that person. But by accepting who I am I can be more comfortable with what I present to other people and make real, genuine friends that way because they don't care if I'm a little off. I just want to be a better me and then I'm a better person.
- finish one 2000 wd fic/month through
vitamin_fic- finish plaguing fic ideas- Jared's married (needs massively re-tooled to work. possibly for bigbang?), Jared & Jensen meet in a bar (the whole fic is outlined but it's just soooooo slow going), superstar Jared (I don't know if this one will work out, we'll see), Sam/Ruby fic #2, Ruby's identity fic (got it started, a little foggy on where it's going)
- work on character voices. It's something I really strived for at the end of this year but I want to figure out how these characters sound before I start writing so their lines don't come out so stupid. I find Jared and Jensen the hardest sometimes because they CAN be anyone in RPS. We don't know them. Sam and Dean are second because I just have a hard time thinking like a guy. So, something to work on.
- Rec at least one fic a week. This means I'll have to READ some. I suck at that. :(
- COMMENTS! I want to force myself to reply to comments quickly. Sometimes I'll get comments and I'm here but I won't reply because... I don't want peoplet to think I'm one of those people that's RIGHT THERE to comment ASAP? I dunno. Reply faster, that's all. I still have fics from freaking June or July to reply to.
- post icons more frequently.
Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted?:
A LOT more. It's insane how much I wrote at the beginning of the year. I'm jazzed to get out of school and work if only to write as much as I did in the first six months of this year. About 31 fics this year, 2 unposted yet. Actually, there are more. I have three more waiting to be posted, or thereabouts. I don't know why I haven't. And OOOOOOOOOODLES of stuff not finished. It's seriously scary.
What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January?
Jesus... I did some daddy!cest, het, femmeslash-ish and a genderswap. AND a Sam/Dean/Sam thing. I NEVER would have done this before. And I'm proud of it all!
What's your favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest?
UM UM UM. "but a dollar says he'll lick that Devil", "They Won't Grow", hmmm... I think those two are the ones that I'm proudest of and therefore happiest at how they came together.
Did you take any writing risks this year? (See above for unexpected pairings, etc.) What did you learn from them?
YES. I did
spn_j2_bigbang. I had so much stress over this fic and it was MASSIVE, the biggest thing I've ever done. I learned betas are AMAZING people and just SO MUCH about what to watch for in my own writing.Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the New Year?
Yes! To write at least one fic a month, to finish at least SOME of the ideas I've had for ages now and to branch out into pairings and maybe fandoms I wouldn't normally.
From my past year of writing, what was…
My Best Story:
Personally? I think it was something like "They Won't Grow" or "No one wants to fight me like you do". Maybe "but a dollar says he'll lick that Devil", I'm not sure. It's a lot of porn more than anything.
Story Most Underappreciated by the Universe:
Maybe... "Someday Never Comes" or "Laugh, I nearly died"? Death!fics are usually underappreciated. Or near-death!fics.
Most fun:
"Tasting the Pillow with my Grin", "He Wasn't Blowing Raspberries" or "as a child of twenty-five", I think. And maybe "They Won't Grow", which is weird.
Most disappointing:
I think... "The New Happy Hour". I had this idea for all these little AU vignettes but nothing came of them. Maybe someday.
Story With a Single Sexy Moment:
A single sexy moment? Because "but a dollar says he'll lick that Devil" does it for me. I STILL remember how I felt when I was writing it and how easy it all just poured out and came together. Maybe Sandy watching Jared and Jensen in "I can make you sway"?
Hardest to Write:
"Bright Stars and Faint Satellite Skies" or "Daddy Drinks Because You Cry", easily. BSaFSS just because it was SO HUGE and took SO MUCH time. DDBYC because it took me soooooo long to write it. I'm happy with the outcome, but it took way too long to get there.
Most Unintentionally Telling:
I'm not sure. I don't think any of them are. Near the end of the year I REALLY tried to write with character voices in mind so... I'm not sure I can answer this well.
I think this is pretty much all I have to say about 2007. It came, it went. So long, see you later. Bring on 2008!
Oh, and if anyone else is bumming around home tonight (even if there WAS anything to do here in town, it snowed quite a bit today the roads are shit) IM me on AIM! FcukerMari
