Jun. 19th, 2010

grrr, argh

Jun. 19th, 2010 09:02 pm
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Someone has posted something on my flist that is streeeeeetccchhhiiinnnnnggggg it but I can't ID what or who it is. Often times someone has posted something like EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE only stretched a bazillion times longer and my layout just accomodates shit like that like it's an every day thing. Not cool, layout. Not cool. So I have to wait for whatever post it was to move its way down and onto the next page.

Eating and weight issues aside I've been beseiged with feelings lately. I've been very emotional, up and down, and it's been so draining. I'm not sure why or what's causing it. Usually I can say, "okay, I'm tired and I'm stressed and that's why I'm reacting the way I am" or whatever, I cry or give myself a stern talking to and I'm over it.

I've been very stressed this week with work and just.... other things and I've been kind of on the verge of being able to cry but I haven't gotten there yet. I'm avoiding that, as well, to a point and I don't know. It'll make me feel better but I think part of me is resisting for when I really, really need it. Because I don't think the worst has come just yet. Part of me thinks that I'm falling into a bit of depression again and that scares me.

I think my whole life right now is tired. I don't feel very much like I fit in anywhere, I don't particularly like my job right now, I'm stuck in a bit of a rut creatively and in pretty much every other way. There are lots of things I want to do right now but when it comes time to do it I'm very unmotivated.

I'm excited for New York but at the same time some of the excitement feels a bit forced.

I don't even know anymore. I need a change, for sure, but I'm not sure when it's coming or what it is. It's coming but I need to push through this crap in my head first.

So, in conclusion, please stop stretching out my layout, random post on my flist.


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